Looking Back, Looking Forward, Looking In Between.

Looking Back,
To before life flipped downward.
Looking Back,
To before I was a mom.
Looking Back,
To when life wasn't as hard.
Looking Back,
To when I didn't care.
Looking Back,
To when i was a wild little girl.
Oh' what's changed.?
Oh' I changed.
Looking Forward,
To watch him learn.
Looking Forward,
To graduation, and Basic Training.
Looking Forward,
To leave this town, see whats in this world.
Oh' what's changed.?
Oh' I changed.
Looking In Between,
At the days like today.
Looking In Between,
For the days of tomorrow,
But not quite forward.
Looking In Between,
For another night of my life.
Looking In Between,
At the smile on my sons face.
Looking In Between,
For another night with my little family.
Oh' What's Changed.?
Oh' I changed.

Oh how life done changed.!

I can see the way I want life to be, 

I can see what i want to see.
But life has changed,
And so have we.
I can see the way life should be,
I can see the way life will be.
A new life is here,
But I'm still here too.
Ready for the new chapter,
Ready for it to begin,
Watch him grow,
Watch him learn.
How to walk and talk,
And run and learn.
To be himself,
No one else.
I can see my life,
The opportunities,
Opening in front of me.
For me to take them,
That would be a dream.
For life has changed,

And so have we.

My Days...

Wednesday; I woke up, and instantly fought with Morgan. I had no modivation to get ready for school, or even go. So I didn't. It wasn't because we were fighting, it was my depression kicking in again. All I wanted to do was sleep. So, I got Easton back to sleep, then I slept. I woke up, and Morgan and I were fine. Then Easton hit his head and Morgan and I fought again, because of it. We got over that one, and went to Morgans moms for pigs in a blanket(YUMMM) We Played with Easton, and talked about the snow. Talked about morgan going to work when it hit two inches.

Thursday; I woke up, I took morgan to work, I had to deal with Easton Screaming every ten to fifteen minutes. Until 5pm. Then i helped my sister move some of her stuff into their new house. (: I ate a cake ball, which told me that I'm having a niece.!(: Yay.! Charli railynn.!<3 And i also found out Morgan might not be home until tomorrow or saturday because he's working snow removal.): Its ten bucks an hour, but still. I miss him, and want him home.): If they don't call school, I won't be there. One my cars snowed in, and two I don't have daycare for Easton. I was gonna go four-wheeling, but I only had a babysitter for an hour, and I helped my sister move in that hour./: Were watching Morgans little sister on saturday if his mom has to work.

I've been thinking alot about the Air Force, and idk if its the best decision for me.. Eastons growing up so fast, and I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to miss him, and him not know who I am..
Well, I guess I'll end this here. Easton is waking up, and I need to get him back to bed, and get myself to sleep.. /:
#Sleeping alone problems.):

Happy Valentines Day.!

I love my son, and my boyfriend.
I love my best friend Jordan.
I love life, and watching my son grow up.
I love country music, and this town i live in.
I love those who have left me in the dust,
As well as those who helped me up,
Dusted me off, and pushed me forward.
I love where I'm going in life.
I love being me.
I love the Air Force.
I love zebra stripes.(:
But, The one thing i love the most,
Is my ability to love without end.
To love so unconditionally for one
Little boy, that will grow to a young man,
And always be the highlight to my life.<3

Court...

Court Today... Ahhhh.!!!!! :/

I hate...

"I hate the way you talk to me.
I hate the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots.
And the way you read my mind.
I hate the way your always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hat the way you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate when your not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly,
I hate that i don't hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.<3

New car.? New House.? Air Force.?

Ohhh, my weekend was amazing.! Until Sunday night...): I have court tomorrow... Easton and Morgan stayed with Jacob for a guys day tomorrow.(: I love my boys. Their my world.! I got on a four-wheeler Saturday, for the first time since i flipped it last Feburary. I took Easton outside without a car seat or stroller for the first time too. He wore his camo outfit with the buttflap. (: He looked SO cute.! I can't wait till hes old enough to go hunting with us. And shoot his first gun at the range.(: Tiya, Easton, and I went on Tiya and I's country road before she got her tattoo.(: (RIP Hemi.!) Looking at new cars, I think i'm gonna get a 04 Chevy Impala.(: Morgans looking for a new job, and I'm looking at cars as well as apartments. Gonna talk to an air force recruiter again. To see when i can Enlist. (: My basic would be 2 months, Morgans for the Marines would be 4 months. So i'd go to basic, and he wouldn't go until i came back. Or if we Both went, Morgans mom would watch him.
My insperational song for the week, Letters from home.(:

I drive your truck
Little moments like that
I'll survive
Cowgirls don't cry.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

2 Months

Eastons 2 Months Old Today.!!(: Morgan and I have been together one year, and 3 months on the 20th.(: I love my boys, there my world.!(: <3

Pioneers Park...(:

Well, yesterday when school got out Kayla, Garrett, Easton, Morgan, And I went to pioneers park. The weather was beautiful.! Easton, of course was awake, but fell asleep as soon as we started walking. Lol, His stroller decided to drift, as well as try to catch some air... Lol. But now I'm sitting in E learning, trying to decide what to do now... Hmmm, Fighting with Morgan, talking to Keegan, debating whether to do my work here or at home... I'll probably just do it at home. Lol. I wanna go to the park again today.! Its supposed to be 60.!!(:

My family.

 Daddy, Mommy, And Of Course A Upset Baby Easton. Lol. (: Oh, My Boys.(: I love them, Oh so much.!<3

Mommy, And Baby Easton.! I love this lil' man SOOOO Much.!!!!(: Hes my world.!!!<3

Family time

 Auntie Graison And Baby Ryker.(:

 Auntie Graison, Ryker, And Mommy Britter Bear.(:

 A Crying Easton And I... ): Poor baby.

Me and Baby Ryker.!

Lion toy.(:

His lion plays noises, and if it stops he yells at it. (: so you can't stop jingling it or he'll yell at it, as well as you until you make noise again.(: Mommys baby boy is getting so big.!!!!

FML!):

Waiting for Morgan to wake up, so i can see how my baby boy is doing.... ): At least he's still asleep.(: He's doing a little better, not much. It's a process, we'll get there. He'll get better. It just takes time.. Right.? I'm scared, what if he doesn't get better.? What if it keeps coming back. ):

Whelpp.... Spent Saturday night in the hospital with Easton.. Like i feared, he has RSV. )': I'm scared for it'll get worse.. Morgan lost his job, because he stayed home with Easton, so i could come back to school. Now he and I both have to find jobs, instead of just me. This sucks, Morgan and I fight all the time. I want it back to when we were all happy. When we could cuddle all night long, instead of sleep on different sides of the bed.. When we didn't have to wake up every four hours to give Easton a breathing treatment. I want my baby boy to be okay. But most of all, i want me to be okay. I'm not sure what to do, but i'm trying to figure that out. I'll get there, eventually.
~Graicy.<3

I have to find a job, soon. This sucks. Then ill go to school, pick up Easton, take him home, and leave for work. ): I'll never see my son. Morgans Enlisting into the military. I'm not sure how to feel about that. Because now my dreams of someday going into the Air Force could be out the window. I'm not gonna leave Easton with one of my family members, much less Morgans mom. And I don't know who i would leave him with. Because if Morgan and I both get deployed, who will take care of him. I don't trust Morgans mom, much less my mom. My dad couldn't handle another baby. And i refuse to send him with my sisters. So my only option is to let Morgan join, and I find a different dream... But how do you find a different dream, if this has been your dream since you first saw an airplane.? Easton has an ear infection, and a really bad cough, I'm just scared that its gonna be RSV and he won't be able to get rid of it. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do if my baby boy does have it.): What scares me the most, is that with school, and getting a job Easton won't even know who i am when he gets older. The only time I'll see him is when I get home, and he'll be asleep already. ):